Monday, May 14, 2012

Things I'm Afraid To Tell You

I've always felt that as women, we do a disservice to other women when we pretend our lives are perfect. So when Meg from Mimi + Meg contacted me about doing a "Things I'm Afraid to Tell You" post, I was thrilled to be involved. It all started with a post by Jess from Make Under My Life, which was turned into a blogger movement by Ez of Creature Comforts. Now Meg has organized a Round Two wave that I'm thrilled {and terrified} to be a part of. Much thanks to Meg for putting this together.
As bloggers, we often post about new purchases, pretty sparkly things and fun adventures, but leave out the tears, self-doubt and fears that we all have. I often read others' blogs, seeing their glitter-and-sequins-filled-lives and feel inadequate - thinking my life isn't so perfect. So here we are, a group of bloggers all putting it out there, so we can all be honest and authentic... So without further ado, here are the things I'm afraid to tell you:


1. I have a lot of fears. Flying. I hate sleeping at home alone, when my husband is traveling for work. I am nervous about getting trapped in an elevator. Germs scare me (particularly food poisoning.) I wish I were more footloose and fancy-free, but I'm just a worry-wart about things.  

2. While I love high end fancy foods, I eat a lot of crap too. Fast-food. Kraft mac n' cheese. Top Ramen. Hot dogs. I feel that at my age {32} I'm supposed to have a more refined palate, but sometimes I don't eat that well. Sometimes I eat like a 5 year old.

3. As an interior designer, I feel a pressure to have my house look like it's straight out of the pages of Elle Decor all the time. But it doesn't. Don't get me wrong, my home has lots of great design elements... cool mirrors, interesting wallpapers, gold stars painted on my office ceiling, etc. But I also haven't gotten around to hanging nice drapes in my bedroom and instead I have a navy blue sheet taped up for privacy. I haven't hung the gallery wall in my hallway that I've already designed in my head. My house is often messy (I hate to wash dishes.) I'll be getting to these last design elements soon, since I want to have my house professionally photographed, but like everyone else, it takes some sort of event to motivate me to get certain things done around the house.

4. I love blogging, and I love interior design, but sometimes I feel superficial talking about stuff and things and saying "I HAVE to have this. I NEED this." I love helping people live in pretty environments through my work as an interior designer, and I love sharing beautiful finds on my blog, but I also feel like stuff and things don't make people truly happy. To me real deep happiness comes from things you can't buy - family, friends, nature... But I also like pretty things, and sharing beautiful things, and I definitely feel a conflict about all that.

5. I'm embarrassed by how much time I spend in front of a screen. If I'm not at my computer doing work, I'm looking at my iPhone, or iPad, or TV. I waste a lot of time with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blogs, Pinterest, Words with Friends, every reality show on Bravo TV. My trip last week to the Grand Canyon and Sedona definitely got me to unplug a little, and I want to set up some stricter boundaries for myself and get in the habit of being a bit more present. Hiking into the Grand Canyon was one of the coolest things I've ever done. Not reading someones status update, but being outside, in the real world.

6. Mother's Day {yesterday} was a tough day for me. I'm so grateful to have my mother nearby to celebrate, but sometimes I worry that I'll never be a mother.  I usually try to be really positive and upbeat about it, but some days my brain can't go to that place.

7. I haven't been to the dentist in two years. I have a whole bunch of excuses, but they are all stupid. I need to go. I promise I will soon. 

Thanks for reading this and not judging me. Or I guess you can judge me, it's up to you. But hopefully you'll walk away knowing that I am far from perfect. And that's ok. We are all works in progress.

Here are some other brave bloggers who are spilling their guts this morning...

Cassie: Coco + Kelley / Christine: Court & Hudson / Caitlin: Sacramento Street / Roxy: My Cup of Te / Crystal: Blog / Meg: MIMI+MEG / Ashlina: The Decorista / Katie: Modern Eve / Erin: Apartment 34 / Erica: Design Blahg / Victoria: Vmac & Cheese / Christine: Miles to Style / Franki: Life in a Venti Cup  / Sue: The Zhush / Erika: Radiant Republic / Gabrielle: Savvy Home / Monika: The Doctor's Closet / Naomi: Design Manifest /Tobe: Because It's Awesome / Becca: {extra}ordinary wonders / Lynzy: Sparkling Footsteps / Hitha: Hitha On The Go / Sarah: Note To Self / Liz: So Much To Smile About / Sarah: Blogstar  / Jessie: Style & Pepper / Erika: Small Shop Studio  / AV: Long Distance Loving / Maggie: Maggie Rose Blog / Nicole: The City Girl In Me / Priscilla: The Best Laid Plans / Jen: Concrete Jungle DC / Janelle: Food Fashion Fitness / Natalie: East Coast Chic

And again, much thanks to Meg Biram of Mimi + Meg for putting this all together. She rules, doesn't she?

And if you are looking for some more strong voices, here are the ladies who shared their thoughts in the first wave of bloggers...

Design for Mankind | Little Brown Pen | Beautiful Hello | Curating Style | Sweet Fine Day | The Jealous Curator | Happy Days | Sage & Berries | Really Handmade | Peck Life | Satsuma Press | Rena Tom | For the Easily Distracted | The Hemborg Wife | Vitamini Handmade | Courtney Khail Stationery and Design | Meg in Progress | Dando Photography Blog | Widdershins22 | Alison Citron | Pink Moon Daily | Just Pretty Things | From China Village | Tea with Me | The Darling Ewe | Not Your Average Ordinary | The Electric Typewriter | Elleby Design | Parsimonia {Secondhand With Style} | Life as an Artistpreneur | Hello Cupcake | Dellie | The A & B Stories | Pretty Little Things | Feistyelle | Nib & Zed | Well and Cheaply | I Ripple. I Dance. | Whitfield Awesome Blog | Foxtrot Press | Dry As Toast | The List of Now | Apple Blue | For the Love of | Four Flights of Fancy | Miss Modish | Snapshots & Secrets | Dirty Laundry | Bubby & Bean | Penelope's Press | Little Nostalgia | Vale Design | Pikaland | Fleurishing | Print Pretty | Vespa Tales | Hazel & Agnes | Amanda's Musings | Mo' Funk Designs | Ordinary Mommy | Camp 1899 | In Honor of Design | Liberty's Yarn | Love, Life & Pictures | Stacey Winters | Owl in the Rain | Living Life Creatively | Emma Elizabeth Clease | I Live in Vacouver Now | British Cream Tea

Thanks for reading!

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